I’VE COME OUT OF HIBERNATION! The past 72 hours have been a whirlwind. Block Week 2 is done, I’ve driven a total of 1,014 miles, and today I defrosted my car (where did the fall weather go?). Friday marked the end of Block 2 of medical school:
October 1 – HERPes
October 4 – Progress Test 4
October 8 – Donor and Live Donor Exam
October 10 – Clinical Skills Assessment
October 12 – Medical Knowledge and Clinical Skills
For the past two weeks, I feel like we’ve done nothing but study and take exams. This past weekend was a much needed one; I was able to visit and see some amazing people from undergrad and live it up without feeling like I should be studying. For a while, I forgot what it felt like to not be a student.
And then grades came out… Personally, I feel like Block 2 has been extremely rough. From start to end, it was rocky. I’ve never prided myself as a good test taker (never have been, probably never will be) but it really gets to you when you spend so much time studying for an assessment and then don’t have the grades to reflect that effort. It’s upsetting too because I genuinely have enjoyed the material introduced this block and feel like I understand the material.
Throughout my academic career, there have always been instances of anxiety or nervousness. Nothing wrong with that, I believe that worrying is a indication that you care and it’s partially responsible for getting me to where I am now. But anxiety and academic performance in med school feels different. Anxiety and stress during college stemmed from getting 90s on assignments and an A- on a paper. But in med school, for the first time I’m not concerned about excelling — I’m more afraid of failing (and by failing, I don’t mean it in a exaggerated/hyperbolic sense, I’m talking about ACTUALLY failing). Block 2 definitely did a number on my confidence but I guess that’s med school, no one said it would be easy.
To avoid ending this already sad/depressing post on a negative, I will note that this isn’t the end of the world, just a small bump in the road on this extremely long drive. If I’ve learned anything from Block 2 it’s that I’m still adapting and learning what works and what doesn’t work for me (fast forward to second, third, and fourth year when I’ll still be learning how to study). Block 2 is in the past now and there are only 3 more blocks left in my first year (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh).
Block 3 just started and we already have a test next week?!?!
Medical Knowledge – 89
Clinical Skills – 80